Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

When an American research operation on Finnish soil manages to dig up the "real" Santa Claus, you’d think it be cause for celebration. The spirit of Christmas is finally alive once more and all that sort of thing, right? Well in Rare Exports, a film that proudly proclaims itself to be “from the land of the original Santa Claus,” things aren’t so simple. You see, the Santa Claus we’re dealing with here is a far cry from the jolly old fellow they use to sell Coca-Cola, far more interested in punishing the naughty than in rewarding the good. He’s a boogeyman meant to keep children in line and now that he’s been freed, there’s no telling what will happen.

Our young protagonist, Pietari, is a boy who is on the cusp of young adulthood, forced by family tragedy to grow up fast yet still unwilling to let go of the familiar Christmas myths. His relationship with his father is difficult and strained, and Christmas in their empty household doesn’t seem like a great time. Things are especially tough this year, given that the entire herd of Reindeer that Pietari’s father depends on for income is found brutally slaughtered in the snow one morning, something which disturbs Pietari greatly given that he and his best friend are the ones who cut the hole in the wire fence that is believed to be the cause. Besides what his father might say if he knew, what about Santa? 

These two plotlines collide when a uniquely-shaped old man is found in a trap on the family’s property, which Pietari and his father immediately believe to be the one and only Santa Claus. And what would you do if you had Kris Kringle restrained in a shed somewhere? Why, you’d attempt to use him as a hostage and get rich, that’s what! It isn’t long before Pietari’s little act of vandalism is eclipsed by much naughtier acts that he and his father get up to on account of this scheme, alongside some pretty heroic ones too.

So Rare Exports ends up shaping up to be a rather unique alternative Christmas classic. It’s a horror comedy, with an emphasis on comedy rather than horror, yet its approach and its style of comedy are particularly refreshing and rare in these kinds of films. The film doesn’t stop to tell jokes, nor does it do the A Christmas Horror Story thing of trying to become a meme; Rare Exports was obviously conceived by someone with their tongue firmly planted in their cheek, yet everything is played straight, without the filmmakers ever feeling the need to completely tip their hand. While it can feel almost like a family film at times, which contributes a certain warm, fuzzy feeling while watching, that doesn’t mean it’s afraid to drop a few f-bombs, show a man being killed with a flying pickaxe thrown by one of Santa’s “little helpers,” or flood the screen with naked, shriveled-up willies flopping freely in the bitter wind. And by shriveled-up, I don’t just mean from the cold. If conditions were a bit different, this probably would have necessitated the film just going without a rating, but as it stands, it’s hard to make out any genitalia despite it bouncing toward you in droves, so don’t let that scare you off.

Ultimately, this film is a deconstruction of the commercialized modern Santa Claus, yet that doesn’t mean it’s above steeping itself in classic Christmas imagery and tropes. Like the characters of the film, the filmmakers behind Rare Exports put together a product that strips the character back down to its roots and attempts to reclaim the myth of Santa Claus as their own, which I believe they mostly succeed in.

The strange premise eventually leads to a wonderful reveal scene where the whole story is flipped on its head just before the third act kicks in. Unfortunately, as great as this moment is, this also marks the spot where the film started to lose me a bit. Suddenly, the deliberate pacing, tension, beautiful snowy landscapes, and little touches of horror were all gone, replaced by blocky nighttime footage that’s been heavily altered in post, sporting some spectacularly bad CG. This is supposed to be a big triumphant climax to get the audience’s blood pumping and send them away with a good feeling, but it’s all just a tad too clean and too neat for my tastes. Maybe I’m just a cynical asshole, but the ending feels not too dissimilar to something a holiday hack like Robert Zemekis might come up with, and I find it makes the film fade from memory especially fast. After all, what makes it so memorable are all the darker touches that carry the film for its first hour.

All of this means that, despite a very charming plot, characters, and refreshing style of farcical comedy, Rare Exports can sometimes feel a bit… lightweight? Perhaps its because the only real violence occurs at the expense of the characters who are actively responsible for the whole “Santa” situation, maybe it's because of the lack of consequences for Pietari and his father’s actions (though I do understand that that’s part of the film's anarchic appeal,) or perhaps it's because the film isn’t even quite ninety minutes. Either way, I can’t complain but so much given that I enjoyed everything except the last fifteen minutes, and even those didn’t exactly spoil the goodwill it had accumulated up to that point. I guess I was just expecting a bit more. If you’re into alternative holiday hits and you’re tired of watching the same old worn-out discs, maybe give Rare Exports a try. Yeah, you’ll have to do a little reading if you’re not Finnish, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying one of the true hidden gems of this strange little subgenre of horror.