Krampus (2015)

Seeing as I got started so late this year with watching Christmas films and sharing them with you guys, I figure I’ve got about three more good ones left in me before the season has passed, maybe four at max. As a result, I’m trying to stick with real heavy hitters, avoiding guff like A Christmas Horror Story or even a few great films that are tangentially related to the holiday (Francis Ford Coppola’s The Conversation.) So without further ado, let’s talk about the Christmas horror film that everyone out there should have seen by now, Michael Dougherty’s follow-up to his 2007 wonderful Halloween-themed anthology film Trick 'r Treat, 2015's Krampus.

You see, Krampus isn’t just a great horror film that happens to take place over the holiday like Black Christmas or Better Watch Out. No, this is undeniably a Christmas film, and not even just for the obvious reasons that it features lots of Christmas music and the constant presence of familiar holiday iconography; no, this film is notable for actually focusing on the holiday itself and the struggles that many of us go through each year when tasked with getting nice and cozy with our relatives. It’s National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation by way of Evil Dead, never losing sight of its relatable themes even as the characters must band together to defend themselves from all manner of Christmas horrors, from violently mischievous gingerbread men to a Jack-in-a-Box that eats curious little children. But before we get too far into it, let’s back up and set out the premise. 

This Christmas just doesn’t feel the same to young Max. His parents seem preoccupied, all his peers make fun of him for still believing in Santa Claus, and try as he might, he just can’t seem to get into the Christmas spirit. Things threaten to boil over, however, when his relatives arrive for a big Christmas and everyone begins to bicker with one another. Pushed to his limit, poor Max tears up his letter to Santa Claus and makes a new wish: that his family would all just go away. The next morning, everyone in the house awakens to find themselves trapped in the house by nasty winter weather, with no signs of life outside the house and all communication knocked out, culminating in one of their number going missing under mysterious circumstances… Can this family who can barely stand to be around each
other actually band together long enough to survive the coming storm, or will this Christmas be the very last they'll live to see?

So if that synopsis didn't make it obvious already: this is a Christmas-ass Christmas movie, with themes that are all too relatable. The members of this particular family come on strong and are immediately unlikable, but as the film goes on, we see that each possesses no small amount of depth. Howard, a gun-loving conservative who likes to tease and bully those he considers ‘spineless,’ for instance, ends up making several important contributions to the group given that guns are actually extremely useful when you’re fighting against holiday-themed monstrosities, and gas-guzzling SUVs are, if nothing else, very good at getting you where you need to go, even in inclement weather. Aunt Dorothy, despite her constant complaining, isn’t half-bad at keeping the kids entertained while the other grown-ups formulate a plan and doesn’t hesitate to pull the trigger when a possessed teddy bear is bearing down on the ones she loves. Hell, even the two tomboys become a lot more sympathetic once their brother goes missing, revealing their tough exteriors to be more about pleasing their dad than anything, juuust before they end up paying dearly for investigating what they believe to be the voice of another missing child. So, this is a film about family, a film that doesn’t sugarcoat things one bit, but which still aims to remind us that those of us who have big families that we are lucky. They are lots of people who have no family to argue and fight with, and whose holidays are probably much less warm as a result.

But Krampus isn’t some family-friendly TV movie either, and its wise and heartfelt treatment of its themes only serves to make its turns into grotesque horror all the more effective. Critical consensus at the time of release seemed to suggest that it didn’t go far enough with its scares, but I almost wonder if this was pure placebo that resulted from an awareness of the film’s PG-13 rating. When I first watched this film, I had no idea it wasn’t rated R, especially not when we get to see a child’s struggling feet disappear down the maw of some horrible monster during the film’s memorable ‘attic sequence.’ If anything, the requirement to be a bit more subtle with violence and horror probably made the film more disturbing, as the aforementioned child being eaten would be nowhere near as frightening if it had lingered on just a bit more. Really, it’s still a shock seeing a film that is far more eager to show young children being painfully killed than it is the adults in the family, at least at first.

But it’s not all violence and campy action (which there’s plenty of as well,) as Krampus knows when to quiet down and deliver creeping dread. In the second act of the film, once the threat has become clear and the family has essentially boarded themselves up in their house, we see a nice suburban home slowly become transformed into a nightmarish labyrinth of dark, empty rooms. The sound design helps a lot, though it's at its best when things get loud (the big rooftop chase with Krampus was incredible, and it's mostly thanks to the sound.) I love the reliance on practical effects here, to the point where even the CG looks great because they only used it for very specific purposes and planned extensively for it. This use of good old-fashioned craftsmanship is most apparent in Krampus’s design, which resembles a sort of Reptillian creature wearing the hollowed-out skin of Old St. Nick, and it only looks better and better the more you stare at it.

None of this is to say that the film is some kind of exercise in misery and cruelty either, as Krampus happens to be one of the funnier horror comedies out there. I say this a lot, but the horror doesn’t clash with the humor, and the humor never interrupts the film’s horror (except for that bit where the angel doll has Toni Colette pinned down, which makes me laugh every time as it’s just so over-the-top.) For any Christmas film about family, this is important, and without it, there’s no doubt the family would have had a much harder time endearing itself to us. It is true that some of the blacker humor might turn off those in the audience that are a bit more sensitive, but my advice to them would just be to wait until the credits have rolled before getting upset, as the ending does at least soften things a tad without fully negating the horror of the film. 

A big part of why the film is effortlessly funny is probably thanks to the all-star cast consisting of comedic legends like David Koechner, Conchata Ferrell, and of course Toni Collette, who between this film and Hereditary, seemed to briefly corner the market of high-strung horror movie moms. Even the kids do a great job, especially Emjay Anthony as Max. Sure, this is a stylish, impressively-made film, but when a film focuses so much on family and our desperate attempts to relate to one another, the human element a great cast brings is key, and it’s clear that Krampus has that in spades.

And so what else is there for me to say? This film has it all: it’s as funny and heartwarming as it is disturbing and cynical, as tasteful as it is shlocky and violent, and as wise and as it is utterly irreverent. It’s the perfect gateway horror film for kids that knows how far is too far, while also understanding that kids can feel it when a film is holding back on their account. Really, the whole story smacks of a bedtime story done up in the modern style, attempting to plant the seed in every child’s mind that they should, say it with me everybody: Be careful what you wish for! For the rest of us, however, this is simply a great film for when you and your family can’t decide between alternative holiday fare like Die Hard or Black Christmas and actual Christmas films with traditional Christmas messages like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation or Home Alone. This is why I, without reservation, consider the absolute best alternative Christmas film there’s ever been. For now, at least...